Agreement is reached here by all members of the group. In 1981 they may well have been the innocents the press still sometimes now makes them out to be.
Dave Gahan: "I think we made a few mistakes when we first started. We were naïve in the way that we didn't know much about the music business, we were just having some fun. We made a few mistakes in the way that we portrayed ourselves, in the way we had photos done and in the way we did interviews. We did everything that came along.
"Now we stay clear of doing things unless we want to. We stay clear of doing things like the daily press...there was one we did in the Daily Star which we did years ago when Vince was still with us...that contributed to Vince leaving the band. They asked Vince something like "do you think it's an advantage to be good looking?" and Vince said well it's an advantage in everyday life, isn't it. And of course the title was "UGLY BANDS WON'T GET ANYWHERE" and it was terrible. After that he wouldn't do any press. He didn't actually do an interview for about six months. He barely spoke to us and we felt that he wanted to leave. [1]
"It upset him so much that it contributed to his thoughts about the music business, that he didn't really like it, you know, that it was really false. [2]
"He was the strangest person in the band really at the time. He's very much the sort of person who likes to be on his own, and now he works on his own out in the studio and he won't have anyone else there..."
Anyone for tennis? A game of doubles perhaps? The sleepy rural idyll of Streatley is beginning to get to Depeche Mode. Andy and Martin have been wandering around the village in the forlorn hope that someone would recognise them so that they'd have someone to talk to. In between times, they saunter up to the court for a leisurely knockabout.
Gahan and Gore team up against Fletcher: Shaw picks up a dubious racket to join his side. After a quick glance at his technique, Fletcher tactfully suggests that perhaps Shaw shouldn't serve. Coneyl the camera plays at umpire.
WAAP! Fletcher and Shaw drop four games in a row.
Dave Gahan is pleased with the way Depeche Mode have thrived in the pop market place. In comparison to the market competitors, Depeche Mode are more or less a cottage industry. They manage the group themselves, sharing out financial and secretarial duties - Gahan's girlfriend runs the Depeche Mode information service. Mute remains a small set up, within which they can do more or less as they please.
"I think a lot of it is down to the fact of how we are as people, really, because we have no contract with Mute whatsoever. And we've been offered huge amounts from majors right from day one...we've been offered six nought figures, ridiculous amounts but it doesn't really interest us because we've got so much freedom with Mute.
"We still manage ourselves, we have no one really pushing us in any direction. Daniel (Miller, producer and Mute man) advises us in certain ways. If we've got six songs and we want to pick one as a single he'll help us to pick one. Other than that we're very free to do what we want.
"We've done it all without aggressive marketing and things like that, without pictures on sleeves, any ads in papers, anything like that. It's all because we haven't been pushed in any way, we've been able to do it on our own. A lot of the groups that came up with us were just mainstream rock bands, just general rock bands that have dumped their synths for electric guitars and spreading their legs on stage."
Depeche Mode spreading their legs and wielding guitars on stage? It doesn't really bear thinking about, does it? Because even though they've transformed completely from the days of the "Speak And Spell" tour when they always looked as if they'd have preferred to turn off the tape recorder and go home to Basildon - nowadays Gahan's hip-swivelling can be a wonder to behold - they could never cut it as "real men" posturing rock stars.
Martin Gore in lipstick and leather skirt (The German Smash Hits equivalent, Bravo blared fallaciously "Underneath He Wears Suspenders!") - it's part of their appeal really isn't it? Not macho people.
"Yeah," recoils Dave. "Well, er, we're not very macho people. I suppose it is." WAAP!
Around the time of "Construction Time Again" There was this idea of Depeche Mode as Basildon's Red Rockers. Somehow they never lived up to X. Moore's expectations.
"They were trying to put us into making political statements," says Dave. "But that was from that album, which did cover generally socialist topics, just sort of everyday things that you come up with. They took it as being really communist. "Red." We were labelled "The New Reds..."
"It's down to how you are. We've made a lot of money, so we find it difficult to put across things like that in interviews. It would be stupid. I mean we've got very left wing attitudes, all of us, because we come from a very working class background. I think it's down to your personal attitudes, the way you present yourself.
"You could preach till the cows come home, we could talk for hours and hours about politics, but I don't think..." he tails off. "It might surprise a lot of people who didn't think we got involved in that sort of thing at all, but we don't want to use that side of things to sell ourselves, if you like..."
Wham play miner's benefit.
"Yeah," he grins. "That sort of thing, which was the management saying, "I think you should do something credible". It's very difficult to look out on those things when you do make so much money. I think it's being very hypocritical.
"You can't help making a lot of money: if you sell a lot of records you make a lot of money...the same as any business. It's down to your personal attitudes what you do when you've got that money. On the other side we don't fit into that nightclub scene, going up to Tramp every night, jetting to New York for a party that someone's throwing. Going off to Diana Ross's birthday party..."
Which brings us back to Depeche Mode sitting in corners...
Depeche Mode agree: their public introversion doesn't really do them any favours. "One of the reasons why we're not very good with the press is because we're not very good talkers. We're not very good at putting ourselves across in interviews, and the press can't handle a band if they're not very outspoken," bemoans Martin.
Alan Wilder, as the only non-Basildon member has more of the outsider's view of it: "We often come across totally wrong, totally different to how we are...this terribly serious bunch of doom merchants, which some people seem to think we are, and that's basically our own fault, the way we put ourselves across because we're not particularly great at explaining ourselves.
"It's a contradictory thing. We sit there and we think "Oh no...we've only got to number eighteen with "Shake The Disease", and yet at the same time we know that if we want to make higher positions in the charts we've got to do things that we don't want to do, so at the same time we know exactly why.
"Trouble is, when you are very honest, when you tell the truth all the time, you can come across as just sounding a bit wimpy...a bit boring."
Pick up any old interview with Depeche Mode, scan through it once, and you'll see that Depeche Mode are possibly the most patronised group around. Wily press men find themselves admiring the media efficiency of Duran Duran say, despite despising the music. Depeche Mode on the other hand - even though their press is nearly always favourable - get a gentle pat on the head. Nice boys. We all seem to do it.
Don't you ever feel like just standing up and shouting "You stupid bastards, just b ecause we go about things in a simple way doesn't mean we're simple minded."?
Martin answers: "It doesn't really bother us. It's true what you say: we go about things in a very simple way. The lyrics are very, very simple, the tunes are very simple."
Andy can have the last word: "We are simple minded."
WHAAP! Cat gut strikes rubber and the tennis ball limps across the net. Game, set and match.
[1] - I am still desperately trying to locate this article. It was written by Rick Sky and would have appeared in the Daily Star some time between late June and early September 1981. If you can help, please contact me.
[2] - And the incident may also have contributed the track "What's Your Name?" to Speak And Spell, with its refrain of "Hey you're such a pretty boy....".